Harry Potter and the Tale that was Never Told
by RudigarJeremyFredrick
Summary: Harry finds himeslef with strange new powers and uses them to destroy the dark lord yet his adventures take him on a different cause
1. Chapter 1

There was a little guy named deanie, who had a house with Jeremy the third. Jeremy lived on a little red cottage on 72 degrees of toothbrushes. The toothbrushes were green and black with the sledgehammers lifting over the hills but when the hills came under attack from little green men carrying rainbow feathers there was a mass dispute between holiday makers and Harry potter. Harry potter was on the verge of breaking his record of the most eggs eaten in 1 minute. His mrs ?stef? was very annoying. But Harry never reached the ponit of breaking his record because he could never find the right lighting so he set upon a quest to do so and this is where our story begins. He set of on his adventure and found a little pony called Fred along the way. Fred had 6 eyes but was friendly as he sat apon the roof of his low rider. The low rider never comes into the MacDonald drive-thru for a very good reason. We all know that there will be a Hong Kong tiger meeting on the 34th of November but will we make it. Just then Harry decided to take a picture of his great aunt Bethany but when he knocked on the door there was no-one there but the little dog that nobody liked. So harry found the little dog a sword of conquest the sword said harry will always detect a reader by using three main forms of maths. The dog was bewildered so set off to Supa Valu to apologise to the hunters mum over the left hand side of his house. There still is no developments over foreign igloo?s but we will find the culprit behind it told a 9 year boy to Jeremy the third yet we will not find a leg of the troll until it is possible to triangulate the right poportions. As this was sed Jeremy and his bother Fredrick the 72nd went to the better shop across the road call dwesons who are always as fesh as the morning but rumour has it that there no-one there to serve the people at the check out. And then Jeremy and his nicky found a robot. The robots name was kimbers. Along came the Kimbers had seen many beheadins in her life and was quite old as she was friends with the pope who really l;ikes the bnumble bees from south Africa while dining on a red fossil. pond fairy who enjoyed to kick back in the pergola which was ok with her mate concherto. Concherto had all the right reasons to be angry with bumble bee man coz all day long the porcupines sat apon three inches of dead mushrooms and broken money trees. But if there was any cance of them behaving badly you could always rely on the pond fairy who had recently retired from a long life upon the refrigerator which happens to be related to bumble bee man. In this part of the story youi can tell where Aunt Bethany obtains the evil ring of guakl which really contains the power harrry seeks deep within his artificial heart.  
Harry set apon his journey along Jeffries way to the deep dark caves in witch the evil homosexual monkey shem bammes controlled the dark powers of zangabar which harry needed to call the lightning he needed to break the record of most eaten eggs with the element power of the weather. Zangabar was the place in which the golden eggs got roosted by the magic pixie fairy gondor. When the rooster went ?boh bing? everybody new that it was to take off ur sox and eat a box. But little did they no there was a box shortage around the bongsville with the artificial compartments.so as part o his quest we found harry once again battling to find the rite angle harry new that the world was slowly falling apart around him as the dockers had actually one a game, and everyone knows thatrs not natural but wat of the rendering foot asked fred his donkey ah yes i have forgotten about that so they sat down and thats the end of that chapter...or is it?  
Of cause it wasn?t the end of the chapter coz there is still time for those big mummas to get down and dirty with affirmative gender of the white grizzley bears. Umpire billy bowden once sed to harry that the sword u posses has those meerkats up in smoke trying to land there boeing 747 on the icelands tropical region. alltho some lucky monkeys have managed to land there hang gliders in the tropical island of antartica while making wooden chairs so they could sit and watch the trees grow and make love with cats while hanging in purple bannana trees upside down.  
Capter one hundred and eighty three point sixty two horse  
there really is no need to confirm the sightings of the purple banana trees harry thought as he had just recently seen one on his pokedex (purple banana tree noun common to the tropical antatrica catch them using charmandfer and a purple pokeball) so he skippesd all the way to the zoo to find the great island of hotdog world were everything is ...wait for it... wait for it ...guitars.  
these guitars had 5 different acer compatibilities in which they held the source of cowboy bobs chaffing groin. It got so bad that charmander used his fire breath to under go his surgical amneasia attact that he put apon harry. All 5 of them made there way to the nigaloo reef where fred got eaten by a three point turnabout portable floating shark.(authors note) but it was just a mechanical shark in disguise we later discovered) . wre next did harry nneed to turn he asked himself thats easy said fry we must go to lavertory town were everone is happy and there is a never ending supply of toilet paper (and on the black market you can also purchase tissues if you are lucky). o while on his visit harry finds an old man tells him where to find what he is looking for but strangely enough harry forgets what his quest was and eats the lowrider that fred likes aunt bethany was quiet disapointd. aunt bethany was very upset that was fred favorite lowrider and shes loves to ride pink and yellow crocodiles in the desert but thats not importain beacuse id you stack a crocodile you get covered in the orange and white fairy dust that lay beneith the ravor sharp snow. harry had a very stange gut ake after he eat that lowrider hold tight in the toilet seat he squezes out the digested eguast . oh wat a waste said the cruel but fair toilet king of lavatory town how will we fix this asked rrrrrrrrudigar who replied that it was his wish to maintain his secrecy. To quench his thirst rrrrrrrrrudigar squeezed 4.2 pounds of minor celerons but little did he know that bongsville was fresh out of these celerons. It ok tho coz along came gurtrude rrrrrrrrrrrrrrudigars best friend, and thought out a plan that would fix up his ibm problem to help him fight the king of coconuts. the king of coconuts was very worried at this point his time gurtrude had a killer plan to attack the coconuts king he had allready placed in an order from the harvey fish and chips shop for 189 chips and gravy to throw at the king beacuse everybody know that the coconut king is allergic to gravy and so the attack begain and ended and then began and ended finally it ended after being began harry had lots an arm half way into the battle because of rudigars let hand flanked required extra tomato sauce without his vital efforts harry would never have found the correct lighting he needed to break his record he found this in the medical tent. harry allso grabed morphine from the medicial tent harry had 2 admit he had abit of an addiction to those yellow and red mango trees it was realy to bad beacuse his yellow and red mango dealers had all resenctly died from on overdose on lift plus.  
For some strange reason jade did not want to reply to either scott, chris or luke but we all no that the real reason was coz the mafia daddy of the new newyork jets was forcing her not too say anything about the holographic drop bears which was taken over the evil mare killer concoction uni control savier. but where oh were was harry to find this lost data i must travel to my home town of Harvey where everyone has an addiction to something and theya re all bums who get drunk off vanilla essence hzrry had dearkly missed his home town throughout his travels and could not wait to come home to see his two maids name herbie and qwrtyuiop without any of their skills that herbie and qwertyuiop had taught harry as a child he would not have survived any of his adventures so as you could guess he was very exited.  
finaly harry arives to the house at the left point along the windows of dreams and pigs orgasims and knocks on the door only to find that no1 was home so he slowly entered the house through the hole located on the right side of the mountain. this was no ordinary mountain. This was the goddess hooganwoogan which gave harry, gurtrude, rrrrrrrrrrrudigar and Jeremy the power to turn invisible when ever they pleased. But they got warned that if they abuse these powers they will be prosecuted for vandilism and would be arrested by constable care who didnt really care that much about his peeps. Harry got jealous of this and whipped his liquorice into the shape of a moustache.  
Harry now had the perfect diguise to use wherever he whent it was ater told in the stories that harry used this much to his advantage when he entered the whore houses because harry got banned from all of them aafter trying to mount a donkey using his feather stick that he recived from constable care the first time he was arrested on the charge of orange picking (he was fined $60 and made to do 20 hours of community service) he attended this community service wth none other than Lj hooker bear who had told him that if he could dress up as santa he would get alot of little kids sitting on hizs lap and thay would not complaion where he put his fingers. harry took the lj hooker bears idea and dressed up in a santa suit he soon was putting his finger into many little boys and girls... bags and reach for there special spot wich makes all little boys and girls happy on Christmas.  
Well it has been a while since harry had written his story but it was well known around the world that the investigation of safety and erganomics was not compatible with those different restriction properties and the dark oracle sed to them that if they did not find the food source of the lord then they would be killed. so that being that Harry found his favorite coat and once again hit the road on the quest for his world record. withoutr even asking there were three frogs that started following our faithfukll hero, ione of these wasactually a littlegrren man named yoda who was once a jedi but now worked at super cheap auto selling young rabbits to innocent passeres bye. Yoda now becomes a great part of the story and becomes harrys favorite little green guy harry is saved by yoda many times throughout his story. the next morning harry wakes up and finds yoda dead. Yoda was surounded by jumping yellow jelly fish wich harry then destroyed with his wand wich contains a pheonix fethers and a strand of emilys red hair witch made the wand very moody and agressive. this agressiveness was well faught out by the purple people eater who was causing trouble for the towns people by eating all their babies and grandparents. people would of thought that the grandparents would of been not very tender but the eggs and salad roles confronted the village people and it was all sorted out after happy hour was apon us.or was it? Well it sure was or maybe yeas it was well sort of ummm wait no it wasn oh I mean yes anywho there really isn?t need for this discussion as the drinks needed filling and luke decided to neglect his duties as the chief warlock ahead of time by runnig the lantern infront of the ship. And what a stupid desision that was to run the lantern infrount of the ship as the ship was moving and it was only inches away from his face Harry wakes up from his very weird dream of luke almost getting hit by the ship with the a spinning got leg as the prepellor. This propeller had ten inches of cactus pies but the people new that they weren?t genuine part for the Honda mowers. His lawn needed to be cut badly but the blades were blunt and the Id card got stolen by george bush who was on vacation in Yarloop. They all went down to the logical cake slice of choco land.

Harry became extremely worried about his lawn because it was that time of the month and the land tends to grow semi trailers underground if you don?t send the jack Daniels directly to the heart. The lawns were finally cut and Luke tended to their fare hearts the first step was to shuffle the deck strenulesly but making sure there would always be a round custard cake waiting on his motor home. his motor home made out of dragon hide from the dragon veifor contain magical properties that none other have like the right handed brown window clock feature and brick desk feet on basaloid skin taken from lord voldiekings favourite pet. Lord Voldiekings has his pet donkey muff muff that enjoyed sitting near the lion enclosure and drinking there martini?s while the meerkats had their wedding. Johnny Q was the best man but the 44 gallon drums had not proceeded what they encountered to create by boozing off on teds and met wild coolabahs who wanted to destroy all humans and give out his favourite colour.

There was a maximum of three rotations that required seeding within the annual period to conduct this there was a large need of left handed pink flamingo feathers and an extremely swirly straw. The all you can eat pizza hut was open from three to six and this is where grape stomping was invented along with the the tonge twister she sells sea shells by the sea shore.


	2. Chapter 2

finaly harry arives to the house at the left point along the windows of dreams and pigs orgasims and knocks on the door only to find that no1 was home so he slowly entered the house through the hole located on the right side of the mountain. this was no ordinary mountain. This was the goddess hooganwoogan which gave harry, gurtrude, rrrrrrrrrrrudigar and Jeremy the power to turn invisible when ever they pleased. But they got warned that if they abuse these powers they will be prosecuted for vandilism and would be arrested by constable care who didnt really care that much about his peeps. Harry got jealous of this and whipped his liquorice into the shape of a moustache.

Harry now had the perfect diguise to use wherever he whent it was ater told in the stories that harry used this much to his advantage when he entered the whore houses because harry got banned from all of them aafter trying to mount a donkey using his feather stick that he recived from constable care the first time he was arrested on the charge of orange picking (he was fined $60 and made to do 20 hours of community service) he attended this community service wth none other than Lj hooker bear who had told him that if he could dress up as santa he would get alot of little kids sitting on hizs lap and thay would not complaion where he put his fingers. harry took the lj hooker bears idea and dressed up in a santa suit he soon was putting his finger into many little boys and girls... bags and reach for there special spot wich makes all little boys and girls happy on christmas


End file.
